we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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