she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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