Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize