You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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