Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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