She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
