Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
