If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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