it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
