I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
