bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize