i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
