So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
