Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
