That's intense
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
