She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
