then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
