Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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