i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize