Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
