well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize