so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
