some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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