remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Can I color on your dick again?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
