Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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