Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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