I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
