My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize