Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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