sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
