when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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