i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
