It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
