I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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