he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
