Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
That's intense
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
