i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
