party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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