He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
