Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
