I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
