How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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