this boner is exhausting
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
