can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i believe in u and ur pee
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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