She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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