I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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