i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
