You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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