The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
