I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
