I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Do vagina's smell?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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