We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
