why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
