Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
