i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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