By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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