You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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