after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
