I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
