Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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