I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You smell like stripper and shame
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
